The Descriptive Essay
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The document provides instructions for writing a descriptive essay, using examples from Brian Williams' description of Hurricane Katrina and a video description of the Good Shepherd Magdalen Laundry in Cork, Ireland. It outlines selecting vivid details that engage the senses to set a mood, logically ordering those details, and using figurative language to show rather than just tell information.
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Descriptive Writing
Show, dont tell
The most basic and important rule of descriptive writing:
SHOW, dont TELL
Telling She was excited when her parents gave her permission to go to the party.
Showing Her eyes widened with surprise and her lips parted as she screamed with delight when her parents said, Yes.
Telling The rain was falling heavily and everyone was afraid.
Showing The raindrops attacked the galvanised roof and the windows rattled. We huddled under the bed and held each other tightly.
How Can You Show?
Follow the Rules:
1. By creating images
2. By using active verbs
3. By using concrete nouns
4. By including figure of speech
5. By adding dialogue
Rule #1- Creating Images
Use of the five senses:
a. Sight
b. Sound
c. Smell
d. Taste
e. Touch
Example: Our brains were scrambled from the heat and our minds were going mad from the squeaking of the wheel from the golf caddie. Squuueeeeaaaak! Squeak! Squeak!
When will it shut up, I shouted as I kicked the wheel.
Rule #2 - Use of action words that show movement
The Ferrari went down the SZR.
The Ferrari raced/stormed down the SZR.
Mike was in his chair during Maths exam.
Mike sat fidgeting in his chair during Maths exam.
Rule #3 Using Concrete Nouns
Abstract: It was a nice day.
Concrete: The sun was shining and a slight breeze blew across my face.
Abstract: I liked writing poems, not essays.
Concrete: I liked writing short, rhythmic poems and hated rambling on about my thoughts in those four-page essays.
Abstract: Mr. Smith was a great teacher. Concrete: Mr. Smith really knew how to help us turn our thoughts into good stories and essays.
Rule #3 Using Concrete Nouns
Abstract Nouns Concrete Nouns
1. car 1. Lamborghini
2. tree 2. aspen
3. noise 3. chatter
4. emotion 4. desperation
5. animal 5. leopard
Rule #4 Using Figures of Speech
- Similes
- Metaphors
- Personification, et cetera
Note: Avoid clich辿s. Boring.
Example of personification and metaphor
- A passion so strong wanted to leap out, but the prison of being a man had no room for crying, just anger.
- The whole class burst into a ruthless laughter as my blood was swept to my face in shame by nature, to face the jeering crowd like disgraced offender.
Example of adding dialogue
- You forgot your homework at school again?! Mom spat.
- I-I-Im s-s-s-o sorry, Sir er Maam, I fumbled with my words under the Principals glowering glare.
Descriptive text (structure and examples)
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- 1. The Descriptive Essay Or it was a cold, dark night. It was so dark that I could not see my shaking hand in front of my eyes. The streets were . . . .
- 2. The Descriptive Essay On the next page, watch a video of Brian Williams describing what happened with Hurricane Katrina - Take notes on images and descriptions that hit you with the description.
- 3. Parts of a Descriptive Essay The point is to make readers seeor hear, taste, smell, or feelwhat you are writing about. It is best to start simple, describe an event, person, place or thing using vivid details and showing rather than telling. Descriptive essays often work side by side with other type of essays such as narration.
- 4. How to write a descriptive essay Determine the purpose of the description ! (academic, artistic/creative, science, business and so on this helps determine your audience) In the video about Katrina, what was Brian Williams purpose for his description?
- 5. Detail Select details that will help bring your description to life-and focus the readers attention: Communicate a specific mood or feeling. Use taste, touch, visual, and work to pull on your audiences feelings (pathos) - why should they care? The more senses you use to describe, the more you will capture your audience. In the video about Katrina, what types of detail did Brian Williams use to capture the overall mood of his description?
- 6. Order the Detail Use logical spatial ordering of details (Wyrick & Slaughter, p. 180). Order your descriptions in the same way you might order a story offer a logical ( logos ) order to the descriptions. In the video about Katrina, how did Brian Williams order his descriptive account?
- 7. Use vivid and figurative language (Wyrick & Slaughter, p. 181). This is where we show rather than tell and we become specific rather than general! It was a cold night, so I turned on the heater. (This is an example of telling) It was a cold night and it made me feel cold to my bones. While watching television with my husband, I went to snuggle in close to get warm, grabbing his hand in mine, but he pulled away from me, saying that my hands were frozen like ice. Although we were trying to reduce our electric bill, I got up and turned on the heater, I was tired of being an icicle that no one would hug! In the video about Katrina, how did Brian Williams use language that showed instead of simply telling us facts?
- 8. On the next page, watch a video description of the Good Shepherd Magdalen Laundry in Sundays Wall in Cork, Ireland. Note: please write down how the images strike you ( pathos emotions), what you feel when you see them (mood), and how you might verbally describe what you see in words.