The author describes surviving an extremely abusive five-year relationship. She felt scared, alone, and confused, and kept going back despite the cycle of blame, abuse, and forgiveness, hoping it would change. It affected her son, job, family, and personality. After a near-death experience from the abuse, she realized she deserved a better life. She sought therapy and support from her family to reconstruct her thinking and lifestyle. Now she has control over her life, can love and be loved, and looks forward to continuing personal growth.