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                                       Barbie'sÌýletterÌýtoÌýSanta
       TallÌýTales Ìý
AllÌýIÌýwantÌýforÌýChristmas    DearÌýSanta,
AngelÌýonÌýtheÌýtreeÌý?
Barbie'sÌýletterÌýtoÌýSanta    ListenÌýyouÌýfatÌýlittleÌýtroll,ÌýI'veÌýbeenÌýhelpingÌýyou
ChristmasÌýCarols            outÌýeveryÌýyear,ÌýplayingÌýatÌýbeingÌýtheÌýperfectÌý
ChristmasÌýFairies           ChristmasÌýpresent,ÌýwearingÌýskimpyÌýbathing
ChristmasÌýString            suitsÌýinÌýfrigidÌýweather,ÌýandÌýdrowningÌýinÌýfakeÌý
DoesÌýSantaÌýexistÌý?          teaÌýfromÌýtooÌýmanyÌýteaÌýparties.ÌýIÌýhateÌýtoÌý
Ken'sÌýletterÌýtoÌýSanta       breakÌýitÌýtoÌýyouÌýSanta,ÌýbutÌýitÌýisÌýDEFINITELYÌý
MicrosoftÌýbuysÌýChristmas    payÌýback
RudolphÌýSong                time!!
SantaÌýsystemÌýadmins
WhatÌýtoÌýgiveÌýanÌýoptimist    ThereÌýhadÌýbetterÌýbeÌýsomeÌýchangesÌýaroundÌý
     TenÌýSignsÌýThatÌý        hereÌýthisÌýChristmas,ÌýorÌýI'mÌýgonnaÌýcallÌýforÌýaÌý
SantaÌýhasÌýmaritalÌýworries   nationwideÌýmeltdownÌý(andÌýtrustÌýme,ÌýyouÌýdon't
SantaÌýhatesÌýyourÌýkid        wantÌýtoÌýbeÌýaroundÌýtoÌýsmellÌýit!)ÌýSo,Ìýhere'sÌýmyÌý
StoreÌýSantaÌýPeeves          holidayÌýwishÌýlistÌýforÌýthisÌýyear,ÌýSanta.
YourÌýnotÌýgettingÌýaÌýbonus
YourÌýsickÌýofÌýtheÌýholidays   1.ÌýAÌýnice,ÌýcomfyÌýpairÌýofÌýsweatÌýpantsÌýandÌýaÌý
You'veÌýgotÌýaÌýbadÌýtree       frumpy,ÌýoversizedÌýsweatshirt.ÌýI'mÌýsickÌýofÌý
You'veÌýhiredÌýaÌýbadÌýSanta    lookingÌýlikeÌýaÌýhooker.ÌýHowÌýmuchÌýsmallerÌýare
                            theseÌýbathingÌýsuitsÌýgonnaÌýget?ÌýDoÌýyouÌýhaveÌý
                            anyÌýideaÌýwhatÌýitÌýfeelsÌýlikeÌýtoÌýhaveÌýnylonÌýandÌý
                            velcroÌýupÌýyourÌýbutt?

                            2.ÌýRealÌýunderwearÌýthatÌýcanÌýbeÌýpulledÌýonÌýandÌý
                            off.ÌýPreferablyÌýwhite.ÌýWhatÌýboneheadÌýatÌý
                            MattelÌýdecidedÌýtoÌýbeÌýcheapÌýandÌýmoldÌýimitation
                            underwearÌýtoÌýmyÌýskin?ÌýItÌýlooksÌýlikeÌýcellulite!!!

                            3.ÌýAÌýREALÌýman....maybeÌýG.I.Joe.ÌýHell,ÌýI'dÌýtakeÌý
                            Tickle­Me­ElmoÌýoverÌýthatÌýwimpedÌýoutÌýexcuseÌý
                            forÌýaÌýboy­toyÌýKen.ÌýAndÌýwhat'sÌýwithÌýtheÌý
                            earring
                            anyway?ÌýIfÌýI'mÌýgoingÌýtoÌýhaveÌýtoÌýsufferÌýwithÌý
                            him,ÌýforÌýchrist'sÌýsakes,ÌýmakeÌýusÌýanatomicallyÌý
                            correct.

                            4.ÌýArmsÌýthatÌýactuallyÌýbendÌýsoÌýIÌýcanÌýpushÌýtheÌý
                            aforementionedÌýKen­wimpÌýawayÌýonceÌýheÌýisÌý
                            anatomicallyÌýcorrect.

                            5.ÌýBreastÌýreductionÌýsurgery.ÌýIÌýdon'tÌýcareÌý
                            whoseÌýarmÌýyouÌýhaveÌýtoÌýtwist,ÌýjustÌýdoÌýit!!

                            6.ÌýAÌýjog­bra.ÌýToÌýwearÌýuntilÌýIÌýgetÌýtheÌýsurgery.

                            7.ÌýAÌýnewÌýcareer.ÌýPetÌýdoctorÌýandÌýschoolÌý
                            teacherÌýjustÌýdon'tÌýcutÌýit.ÌýHowÌýaboutÌýaÌý
                            systemsÌýanalyst?ÌýOrÌýbetterÌýyet,ÌýaÌýpublicÌý
                            relationsÌýseniorÌýaccountÌýexec!!

                            8.ÌýAÌýnew,ÌýmoreÌý90'sÌýpersona.ÌýMaybeÌýaÌý"PMSÌý
                            Barbie",ÌýcompleteÌýwithÌýaÌýminiatureÌýcontainerÌý
                            ofÌýchocolateÌýchipÌýcookieÌýdoughÌýiceÌýcreamÌýandÌý
                            aÌýbagÌýofÌýchips;Ìý"AnimalÌýRightsÌýBarbie",ÌýwithÌýmy
                            veryÌýownÌýpaintÌýgun,ÌýfittedÌýwithÌýfakeÌýfurÌýcoat,Ìý
                            bottleÌýofÌýsprayÌýbloodÌýandÌýhandcuffs;ÌýorÌý"Stop
                            SmokingÌýBarbie",ÌýsportingÌýaÌýNicotrolÌýpatchÌýand
                            equippedÌýwithÌýseveralÌýpacksÌýofÌýgum.

                            9.ÌýNoÌýmoreÌýMcDonald'sÌýendorsements.ÌýTheÌý
                            greaseÌýisÌýwreckingÌýmyÌývinyl.Ìý

                            10.ÌýmattelÌýstockÌýoptions.ÌýIt'sÌýbeenÌý37Ìýyears­IÌý
                            thinkÌýIÌýdeserveÌýit!

                            OkayÌýSanta,Ìýthat'sÌýit.ÌýconsideringÌýmyÌývaluableÌý
                            contributionÌýtoÌýsociety,ÌýIÌýdon'tÌýthinkÌýtheseÌý
                            requestsÌýareÌýoutÌýofÌýline.ÌýIfÌýyouÌýdisagree,ÌýthenÌý
                            youÌýcanÌýfindÌýyourselfÌýaÌýnewÌýbitchÌýforÌýnextÌý
                            Christmas.ÌýIt'sÌýthatÌýsimple.

                            YoursÌýtruly,
                            Barbie
contributionÌýtoÌýsociety,ÌýIÌýdon'tÌýthinkÌýtheseÌý
                                              requestsÌýareÌýoutÌýofÌýline.ÌýIfÌýyouÌýdisagree,ÌýthenÌý
                                              youÌýcanÌýfindÌýyourselfÌýaÌýnewÌýbitchÌýforÌýnextÌý
                                              Christmas.ÌýIt'sÌýthatÌýsimple.

                                              YoursÌýtruly,
                                              Barbie

                                              Ken'sÌýletterÌýtoÌýSantaÌý



      PartÌýofÌýtheÌýHumourHubÌýnetworkÌý ­ÌýPrivacyÌý­ÌýCopyrightÌý­ÌýEmailÌýthisÌýpageÌýtoÌýaÌýfriendÌý

       HotelÌýDiscounts Ìý­ÌýLasÌýVegasÌýHotels Ìý­ÌýCanadaÌýHotels Ìý­ÌýChicagoÌýHotels Ìý­ÌýNewÌýYorkÌýCityÌýHotels Ìý­ÌýEuropeÌýHotels Ìý


         WorldÌýSeriesÌýTickets Ìý­ÌýSuperÌýBowlÌýTickets Ìý­ÌýFootballÌýTickets Ìý­ÌýMiamiÌýDolphinsÌýTickets Ìý­ÌýEaglesÌýTickets Ìý­ÌýÌý
ChicagoÌýBearsÌýTickets Ìý­ÌýGreenÌýBayÌýPackersÌýTicketsÌý­ÌýNewÌýYorkÌýGiantsÌýTicketsÌý­ÌýCelineÌýDionÌýTickets Ìý­ÌýTheÌýProducersÌýTickets Ìý

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Barbie's letter to Santa

  • 1. GeneralÌýSites Ìý SportsÌýSites ÌýÌý KidsÌýSites Ìý Ìý Ìý Ìý Barbie'sÌýletterÌýtoÌýSanta TallÌýTales Ìý AllÌýIÌýwantÌýforÌýChristmas DearÌýSanta, AngelÌýonÌýtheÌýtreeÌý? Barbie'sÌýletterÌýtoÌýSanta ListenÌýyouÌýfatÌýlittleÌýtroll,ÌýI'veÌýbeenÌýhelpingÌýyou ChristmasÌýCarols outÌýeveryÌýyear,ÌýplayingÌýatÌýbeingÌýtheÌýperfectÌý ChristmasÌýFairies ChristmasÌýpresent,ÌýwearingÌýskimpyÌýbathing ChristmasÌýString suitsÌýinÌýfrigidÌýweather,ÌýandÌýdrowningÌýinÌýfakeÌý DoesÌýSantaÌýexistÌý? teaÌýfromÌýtooÌýmanyÌýteaÌýparties.ÌýIÌýhateÌýtoÌý Ken'sÌýletterÌýtoÌýSanta breakÌýitÌýtoÌýyouÌýSanta,ÌýbutÌýitÌýisÌýDEFINITELYÌý MicrosoftÌýbuysÌýChristmas payÌýback RudolphÌýSong time!! SantaÌýsystemÌýadmins WhatÌýtoÌýgiveÌýanÌýoptimist ThereÌýhadÌýbetterÌýbeÌýsomeÌýchangesÌýaroundÌý TenÌýSignsÌýThatÌý hereÌýthisÌýChristmas,ÌýorÌýI'mÌýgonnaÌýcallÌýforÌýaÌý SantaÌýhasÌýmaritalÌýworries nationwideÌýmeltdownÌý(andÌýtrustÌýme,ÌýyouÌýdon't SantaÌýhatesÌýyourÌýkid wantÌýtoÌýbeÌýaroundÌýtoÌýsmellÌýit!)ÌýSo,Ìýhere'sÌýmyÌý StoreÌýSantaÌýPeeves holidayÌýwishÌýlistÌýforÌýthisÌýyear,ÌýSanta. YourÌýnotÌýgettingÌýaÌýbonus YourÌýsickÌýofÌýtheÌýholidays 1.ÌýAÌýnice,ÌýcomfyÌýpairÌýofÌýsweatÌýpantsÌýandÌýaÌý You'veÌýgotÌýaÌýbadÌýtree frumpy,ÌýoversizedÌýsweatshirt.ÌýI'mÌýsickÌýofÌý You'veÌýhiredÌýaÌýbadÌýSanta lookingÌýlikeÌýaÌýhooker.ÌýHowÌýmuchÌýsmallerÌýare theseÌýbathingÌýsuitsÌýgonnaÌýget?ÌýDoÌýyouÌýhaveÌý anyÌýideaÌýwhatÌýitÌýfeelsÌýlikeÌýtoÌýhaveÌýnylonÌýandÌý velcroÌýupÌýyourÌýbutt? 2.ÌýRealÌýunderwearÌýthatÌýcanÌýbeÌýpulledÌýonÌýandÌý off.ÌýPreferablyÌýwhite.ÌýWhatÌýboneheadÌýatÌý MattelÌýdecidedÌýtoÌýbeÌýcheapÌýandÌýmoldÌýimitation underwearÌýtoÌýmyÌýskin?ÌýItÌýlooksÌýlikeÌýcellulite!!! 3.ÌýAÌýREALÌýman....maybeÌýG.I.Joe.ÌýHell,ÌýI'dÌýtakeÌý Tickle­Me­ElmoÌýoverÌýthatÌýwimpedÌýoutÌýexcuseÌý forÌýaÌýboy­toyÌýKen.ÌýAndÌýwhat'sÌýwithÌýtheÌý earring anyway?ÌýIfÌýI'mÌýgoingÌýtoÌýhaveÌýtoÌýsufferÌýwithÌý him,ÌýforÌýchrist'sÌýsakes,ÌýmakeÌýusÌýanatomicallyÌý correct. 4.ÌýArmsÌýthatÌýactuallyÌýbendÌýsoÌýIÌýcanÌýpushÌýtheÌý aforementionedÌýKen­wimpÌýawayÌýonceÌýheÌýisÌý anatomicallyÌýcorrect. 5.ÌýBreastÌýreductionÌýsurgery.ÌýIÌýdon'tÌýcareÌý whoseÌýarmÌýyouÌýhaveÌýtoÌýtwist,ÌýjustÌýdoÌýit!! 6.ÌýAÌýjog­bra.ÌýToÌýwearÌýuntilÌýIÌýgetÌýtheÌýsurgery. 7.ÌýAÌýnewÌýcareer.ÌýPetÌýdoctorÌýandÌýschoolÌý teacherÌýjustÌýdon'tÌýcutÌýit.ÌýHowÌýaboutÌýaÌý systemsÌýanalyst?ÌýOrÌýbetterÌýyet,ÌýaÌýpublicÌý relationsÌýseniorÌýaccountÌýexec!! 8.ÌýAÌýnew,ÌýmoreÌý90'sÌýpersona.ÌýMaybeÌýaÌý"PMSÌý Barbie",ÌýcompleteÌýwithÌýaÌýminiatureÌýcontainerÌý ofÌýchocolateÌýchipÌýcookieÌýdoughÌýiceÌýcreamÌýandÌý aÌýbagÌýofÌýchips;Ìý"AnimalÌýRightsÌýBarbie",ÌýwithÌýmy veryÌýownÌýpaintÌýgun,ÌýfittedÌýwithÌýfakeÌýfurÌýcoat,Ìý bottleÌýofÌýsprayÌýbloodÌýandÌýhandcuffs;ÌýorÌý"Stop SmokingÌýBarbie",ÌýsportingÌýaÌýNicotrolÌýpatchÌýand equippedÌýwithÌýseveralÌýpacksÌýofÌýgum. 9.ÌýNoÌýmoreÌýMcDonald'sÌýendorsements.ÌýTheÌý greaseÌýisÌýwreckingÌýmyÌývinyl.Ìý 10.ÌýmattelÌýstockÌýoptions.ÌýIt'sÌýbeenÌý37Ìýyears­IÌý thinkÌýIÌýdeserveÌýit! OkayÌýSanta,Ìýthat'sÌýit.ÌýconsideringÌýmyÌývaluableÌý contributionÌýtoÌýsociety,ÌýIÌýdon'tÌýthinkÌýtheseÌý requestsÌýareÌýoutÌýofÌýline.ÌýIfÌýyouÌýdisagree,ÌýthenÌý youÌýcanÌýfindÌýyourselfÌýaÌýnewÌýbitchÌýforÌýnextÌý Christmas.ÌýIt'sÌýthatÌýsimple. YoursÌýtruly, Barbie
  • 2. contributionÌýtoÌýsociety,ÌýIÌýdon'tÌýthinkÌýtheseÌý requestsÌýareÌýoutÌýofÌýline.ÌýIfÌýyouÌýdisagree,ÌýthenÌý youÌýcanÌýfindÌýyourselfÌýaÌýnewÌýbitchÌýforÌýnextÌý Christmas.ÌýIt'sÌýthatÌýsimple. YoursÌýtruly, Barbie Ken'sÌýletterÌýtoÌýSantaÌý PartÌýofÌýtheÌýHumourHubÌýnetworkÌý ­ÌýPrivacyÌý­ÌýCopyrightÌý­ÌýEmailÌýthisÌýpageÌýtoÌýaÌýfriendÌý HotelÌýDiscounts Ìý­ÌýLasÌýVegasÌýHotels Ìý­ÌýCanadaÌýHotels Ìý­ÌýChicagoÌýHotels Ìý­ÌýNewÌýYorkÌýCityÌýHotels Ìý­ÌýEuropeÌýHotels Ìý WorldÌýSeriesÌýTickets Ìý­ÌýSuperÌýBowlÌýTickets Ìý­ÌýFootballÌýTickets Ìý­ÌýMiamiÌýDolphinsÌýTickets Ìý­ÌýEaglesÌýTickets Ìý­ÌýÌý ChicagoÌýBearsÌýTickets Ìý­ÌýGreenÌýBayÌýPackersÌýTicketsÌý­ÌýNewÌýYorkÌýGiantsÌýTicketsÌý­ÌýCelineÌýDionÌýTickets Ìý­ÌýTheÌýProducersÌýTickets Ìý